Tonight is May 29. And tonight, in just a few minutes, the season finale of The Big Bang Theory will end. I love The Big Bang Theory. and I don't always like sitcoms and shit.
Why am I writing you ask? because I'm killing the last few minutes before the show starts. To be honest, I don't have anything to say. But I have written, in my two week absence, the story I have entitled, "Leche Love" I shall post it here quite soon. Won't you stay and read on, blogger? indeed.
bleh! what the hell was that?! anyway. That's all for now. I haven't go much time left. Big Bang Theory, Here I come!!! :D
Martes, Mayo 29, 2012
Sabado, Mayo 26, 2012
In the Back of My Mind
Naglalakad, nagsasayahan, doing everything you and I used to do. Not a care, not a fuck was given. All we knew was that we were together and happy.
Naramdaman ko uli ang gaan ng pakiramdam na pinaramdam mo sakin, so long ago. a Feeling I thought I forgot. A feeling I reserved only for you. Everytime I'm with you, those feelings come out. Everytime I'm with you, I feel so alive. But then I go and spoil it all.
I hate to admit it, but It's my fault we grew apart. I did things. I made things difficult for you. When you tried to reach out, I pushed you away and ran further away. When I did that, you thought I didn't care. You felt terrible. It was my fault. It.was. MY. FAULT.
I can say "I'm sorry" a million times, if I knew it would make things okay. I'd walk from Q.C. to Manila everyday, if I knew we 'd go back to how we used to be. But no. You made it perfectly clear to me that February evening. I remember what you said. It repeated itself over and over in my head until I got sick of it. You said: "Nothing will be the same again. Hindi na tayo trapped sa sarili nating mundo. Nadiskubre ko mundo kasama sila *****,*****,******, at *****. Kaya mag adjust ka na din."
Hindi mo alam kung gano kasakit yung mga salita mong yun. Sobrang sakit nun. remember nag absent ako for 1 week nun? dahil sayo yun.
Naiintindihan ko naman na may pinagdadaanan ka din. Kahit wala ka nang balak sabihin sakin ito. Di tulad nung nakaraan, na masaya pa tayo sa isa't isa. Masakit sa damdamin, at nanghihina ako, pero anong gagawin ko? Lalayo na lang ako. Magpapanggap ako na ayos lang tayo. (kahit hindi). Na magkaibigan pa tayo. (kahit parang hindi naman), na Hindi kita minahal. (Kahit sobra sobra ang binigay ko)
Wala na akong paki. Pinagbili ko na ang puso ko at pinalitan ko ng bato. Tingin ko magiging ayos ang lahat.
You're better at pretending than I am. So I don't know how you feel about me. Wala na ako paki. Ayoko na ma-bore mga kaibigan ko sa mga madadrama kong problema tungkol sayo. Kung ikaw nga nagsawa sa mga kwento ko, sila pa kaya...
Ito ang mga bagay na madalas, hindi ako pinapatulog sa gabi. Pero pinipikit ko na lang mata ko, and I try to find my "Happy Place". Kahit na ang Happy Place ko ay ang mga memories of you and me.
Maybe I am destined to be alone. Maybe I was never meant to love. I don't know. And I'm trying hard not to care anymore.
Ito na sana ang last post ko tungkol sayo. mababasa mo kaya to? Part of me Wants you to read it. and part of me doesn't. Bahala ka na lang siguro kung mababasa mo to. I've shed my last tear for you.
I really don't want to waste more on you. Because you don't seem to care. and even if you do, I don't see or feel it.
Goodbye to you. and our Friendship. and our Memories. and to Everything we Used to be. We will never be the same again.
Naramdaman ko uli ang gaan ng pakiramdam na pinaramdam mo sakin, so long ago. a Feeling I thought I forgot. A feeling I reserved only for you. Everytime I'm with you, those feelings come out. Everytime I'm with you, I feel so alive. But then I go and spoil it all.
I hate to admit it, but It's my fault we grew apart. I did things. I made things difficult for you. When you tried to reach out, I pushed you away and ran further away. When I did that, you thought I didn't care. You felt terrible. It was my fault. It.was. MY. FAULT.
I can say "I'm sorry" a million times, if I knew it would make things okay. I'd walk from Q.C. to Manila everyday, if I knew we 'd go back to how we used to be. But no. You made it perfectly clear to me that February evening. I remember what you said. It repeated itself over and over in my head until I got sick of it. You said: "Nothing will be the same again. Hindi na tayo trapped sa sarili nating mundo. Nadiskubre ko mundo kasama sila *****,*****,******, at *****. Kaya mag adjust ka na din."
Hindi mo alam kung gano kasakit yung mga salita mong yun. Sobrang sakit nun. remember nag absent ako for 1 week nun? dahil sayo yun.
Naiintindihan ko naman na may pinagdadaanan ka din. Kahit wala ka nang balak sabihin sakin ito. Di tulad nung nakaraan, na masaya pa tayo sa isa't isa. Masakit sa damdamin, at nanghihina ako, pero anong gagawin ko? Lalayo na lang ako. Magpapanggap ako na ayos lang tayo. (kahit hindi). Na magkaibigan pa tayo. (kahit parang hindi naman), na Hindi kita minahal. (Kahit sobra sobra ang binigay ko)
Wala na akong paki. Pinagbili ko na ang puso ko at pinalitan ko ng bato. Tingin ko magiging ayos ang lahat.
You're better at pretending than I am. So I don't know how you feel about me. Wala na ako paki. Ayoko na ma-bore mga kaibigan ko sa mga madadrama kong problema tungkol sayo. Kung ikaw nga nagsawa sa mga kwento ko, sila pa kaya...
Ito ang mga bagay na madalas, hindi ako pinapatulog sa gabi. Pero pinipikit ko na lang mata ko, and I try to find my "Happy Place". Kahit na ang Happy Place ko ay ang mga memories of you and me.
Maybe I am destined to be alone. Maybe I was never meant to love. I don't know. And I'm trying hard not to care anymore.
Ito na sana ang last post ko tungkol sayo. mababasa mo kaya to? Part of me Wants you to read it. and part of me doesn't. Bahala ka na lang siguro kung mababasa mo to. I've shed my last tear for you.
I really don't want to waste more on you. Because you don't seem to care. and even if you do, I don't see or feel it.
Goodbye to you. and our Friendship. and our Memories. and to Everything we Used to be. We will never be the same again.
Miyerkules, Mayo 9, 2012
2 girls 1 cup
eyes watering, I just puked, or atleast, almost did. Why you asked? Because I was bored. And in my boredom, I decided to look up, 2 Girls 1 Cup on Google and look for the original video. And wouldn't you know it? I found it on this website.
Reason I decided to watch it was because, I've heard how gross it was, and it was almost unreal. And I've seen the people's reaction to it on youtube. So yeah, I found the link right, and I Let it buffer.
The next few moments have just changed my entire being for the rest of eternity. It starts out pretty tame, like a normal lesbian porn flick. But then... "shit happens" if you know what I mean. I don't wanna get into detail. Just click the damn link and see for your self. God, worst thing I've ever watched. It ruined ice cream for me forever!!!!
So the sick bastards who made that video. Thank you. Thank you so much for scarring me for the rest of my friggin adult life!
and. p.s. no, I do not regret watching it.... I think?
Reason I decided to watch it was because, I've heard how gross it was, and it was almost unreal. And I've seen the people's reaction to it on youtube. So yeah, I found the link right, and I Let it buffer.
The next few moments have just changed my entire being for the rest of eternity. It starts out pretty tame, like a normal lesbian porn flick. But then... "shit happens" if you know what I mean. I don't wanna get into detail. Just click the damn link and see for your self. God, worst thing I've ever watched. It ruined ice cream for me forever!!!!
So the sick bastards who made that video. Thank you. Thank you so much for scarring me for the rest of my friggin adult life!
and. p.s. no, I do not regret watching it.... I think?
Linggo, Mayo 6, 2012
Relapse!
Okay, I guess I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. I mean, Yeah, sure I made it one week without the stuff. Then yesterday, well..... I..... kinda caved. In my defense: It was a moment of weakness!
I feel terrible. I gotta stop doing that... I really don't have anything else to say about myself. I think I need help. Then again, I thought to myself, If I can go a week without it, I have self control. Therefore, I am not addicted. what do you think?
I have no idea what's going on anymore. I 'm going to stay in my room all day tomorrow and I'm going to get rid of anything that reminds me of it. I swear. I can beat this thing.
I feel terrible. I gotta stop doing that... I really don't have anything else to say about myself. I think I need help. Then again, I thought to myself, If I can go a week without it, I have self control. Therefore, I am not addicted. what do you think?
I have no idea what's going on anymore. I 'm going to stay in my room all day tomorrow and I'm going to get rid of anything that reminds me of it. I swear. I can beat this thing.
Sabado, Mayo 5, 2012
You Know it's Not your day when.....
-In the morning, upon waking up, the Nose Pad of your glasses breaks off as you put them on.
-as you get a plate from the dish rack to eat breakfast, a cockroach crawls onto your hand.
And finally,
-When you look thru the tube of the tissue roll, the same cockroach goes after your face.
Well, it could be worse, I could be having trouble finishing Leche Love. Oh wait.....I am.
Oh,well. Atleast it can't get any worse...
P.s. To God: sir, that is not a challenge. @_@
#viaphone
HELP!
ayun, naka one week ako. Pero,pero.... Hnahanap xa bigla ng katawan ko. Pucha. Kala ko kaya ko ng atleast 2 weeks. Dehins pala.
Bwiset. Kaya ko to. Di ako mag ggive in. Tiwala lang!
Biyernes, Mayo 4, 2012
Six Days!
Okay, I have gone six days without IT. And I'm pretty proud of myself. My record is one week without IT. I'm hoping to break that record. lalala. writing about it helps me take my mind off of the stuff. So yeah, I kinda find it therapeutic.
The rain is also helping. Because the weather has gone from hot to cold since the start of May, I have been sleeping a lot. I find that sleeping helps me forget things. And I like that.
I hope this keeps up... I don't want to be addicted forever.
The rain is also helping. Because the weather has gone from hot to cold since the start of May, I have been sleeping a lot. I find that sleeping helps me forget things. And I like that.
I hope this keeps up... I don't want to be addicted forever.
Huwebes, Mayo 3, 2012
Leche Love
I’m working on my story for that contest my facebook-dubbed brother, Melvin and I are in.
I finally thought of something. Leche Love. using my self created characters, Leche Boy and Leche Girl, I’ll make a comic strip about their tragic love. There will be twists and new characters. and the ending will be effin epic!
Now, the story will be:
Leche Girl Leaves Leche Boy for reasons unknown. Leche Boy will soon find out that Leche Girl replaced him with a known gangster, the “Hari ng Leche” Asiong Saleche.
Heartbroken, LB is consoled by his long time friend, Leche Let, who is secretly in love with him. But LB doesn’t notice because he only has eyes for LG. LB tries to get LG back. and Leche Let tries to find the courage to tell LB her true feelings, while trying to reject an admirer, Leche Ben.
This story of Love is confusing and stupid. Just like the real thing. I’ll accompany it with drawings next time. I need to design the characters of Leche Ben and Asiong sa Leche first. when I’m done, I swear, it will be my masterpiece!
I finally thought of something. Leche Love. using my self created characters, Leche Boy and Leche Girl, I’ll make a comic strip about their tragic love. There will be twists and new characters. and the ending will be effin epic!
Now, the story will be:
Leche Girl Leaves Leche Boy for reasons unknown. Leche Boy will soon find out that Leche Girl replaced him with a known gangster, the “Hari ng Leche” Asiong Saleche.
Heartbroken, LB is consoled by his long time friend, Leche Let, who is secretly in love with him. But LB doesn’t notice because he only has eyes for LG. LB tries to get LG back. and Leche Let tries to find the courage to tell LB her true feelings, while trying to reject an admirer, Leche Ben.
This story of Love is confusing and stupid. Just like the real thing. I’ll accompany it with drawings next time. I need to design the characters of Leche Ben and Asiong sa Leche first. when I’m done, I swear, it will be my masterpiece!
The Thinking Chair
Unang sumikat ang "Thinking Chair" sa Children's TV show na Blue's Clues. Ang Thinking Chair ni Steve ay isang sofa na mukang kumportable upuan. Dito siya nauupo kapag nakuha na niya ang tatlong clues ni Blue, at dito niya iniisip kung ano ang nais ipahiwatig ng asul na aso.
Sa opinyon ng blogger na ito, ang Tunay na Thinking Chair ay hindi isang sofa, o monobloc na upuan, o kahit office chair. Ang tunay na Thinking Chair ay ang Kubeta. Tama ang iyong nabasa. Kubeta nga. Bakit kamo?
Ewan ko kayo, pero ako, pag may life decisions o kapag nagiisip ako ng magandang kwento, naliligo ako. mga 30mins to 1 hour ako sa banyo. Nakaupo lang sa kubeta at nagiisip. Parang ngayon lang. Naisip ko to isulat lahat kasi kagagaling ko lamang sa kubeta. Everytime yan. ang mga magagandang sulatin ko ay naisisilang ko sa kubeta. Kasabay nito lumalabas ang mga dumi ko sa katawan.
Ikaw, nasubukan mo na ba tumambay sa kubeta at magisip lang? Try mo minsan, masaya yun. Nakakarelax na, may mga magagandang ideya ka pa. Yeah ba!
Kaya tara na, tol! maupo ka na sa Thinking Chair mo at magsilang ka ng mga bagay na ikaw lamang makakaintindi!!
Sa opinyon ng blogger na ito, ang Tunay na Thinking Chair ay hindi isang sofa, o monobloc na upuan, o kahit office chair. Ang tunay na Thinking Chair ay ang Kubeta. Tama ang iyong nabasa. Kubeta nga. Bakit kamo?
Ewan ko kayo, pero ako, pag may life decisions o kapag nagiisip ako ng magandang kwento, naliligo ako. mga 30mins to 1 hour ako sa banyo. Nakaupo lang sa kubeta at nagiisip. Parang ngayon lang. Naisip ko to isulat lahat kasi kagagaling ko lamang sa kubeta. Everytime yan. ang mga magagandang sulatin ko ay naisisilang ko sa kubeta. Kasabay nito lumalabas ang mga dumi ko sa katawan.
Ikaw, nasubukan mo na ba tumambay sa kubeta at magisip lang? Try mo minsan, masaya yun. Nakakarelax na, may mga magagandang ideya ka pa. Yeah ba!
Kaya tara na, tol! maupo ka na sa Thinking Chair mo at magsilang ka ng mga bagay na ikaw lamang makakaintindi!!
Aaminin ko: two timer ako!
Oo. totoo nga. Hindi ako tapat sa isa. dahil meron pa akong ibang sinusulatan maliban sa una ko. Hindi ito alam syempre ng una ko, pati na rin ng kabit.
Pero ngayong gabi, with the lamp as my witness, Aaminin ko, Dalawa ang blog ko. sa dalawang magkaibang blog sites. (tententen!!! *dramatic music) Sino ang kabit kamo? Ang kabit ay itong Blogger ko. Isang taon kami noon ng tumblr ko nang simulan ko ang relasyon namin ng blogger ko nung Marso 2011.
Proud ba ako? hmm.. petix lang. Dahil nung pasukan, parehas naman sila na hindi ko napansin eh. At kung mapansin ko man, parehas ng post sa parehas. Para tuloy ako may dalawang kasintahan. kewl. pero joke lang.
Ayun, Buti nga ngayong bakasyon eh, namamaintain ko silang dalawa, at this time, hindi na parehas mga post.... well, may iba parehas, pero hindi na lahat. Ang totoo kasi niyan ay, mas updated ang tumblr ko. Let's face it, nauna yun eh, plus mas madami ako readers dun. at mga Taga PNU pa. Meron din ako mga International readers. Kaya karamihan ng post ko dun ay sa wikang ingles. (shout out to my internet friends: abbienana, dinosexual at stepintomyworldforawhile! you guys are awesome! :D ) Dito, meron din naman, pero hindi ganon karami. Nevertheless, readers pa din. Astig ka bro kung binibigyan oras mo tong blog ko.
So ayun, alam mo na sikreto ko. two timer ako bro. yeah. \m/
Pero ngayong gabi, with the lamp as my witness, Aaminin ko, Dalawa ang blog ko. sa dalawang magkaibang blog sites. (tententen!!! *dramatic music) Sino ang kabit kamo? Ang kabit ay itong Blogger ko. Isang taon kami noon ng tumblr ko nang simulan ko ang relasyon namin ng blogger ko nung Marso 2011.
Proud ba ako? hmm.. petix lang. Dahil nung pasukan, parehas naman sila na hindi ko napansin eh. At kung mapansin ko man, parehas ng post sa parehas. Para tuloy ako may dalawang kasintahan. kewl. pero joke lang.
Ayun, Buti nga ngayong bakasyon eh, namamaintain ko silang dalawa, at this time, hindi na parehas mga post.... well, may iba parehas, pero hindi na lahat. Ang totoo kasi niyan ay, mas updated ang tumblr ko. Let's face it, nauna yun eh, plus mas madami ako readers dun. at mga Taga PNU pa. Meron din ako mga International readers. Kaya karamihan ng post ko dun ay sa wikang ingles. (shout out to my internet friends: abbienana, dinosexual at stepintomyworldforawhile! you guys are awesome! :D ) Dito, meron din naman, pero hindi ganon karami. Nevertheless, readers pa din. Astig ka bro kung binibigyan oras mo tong blog ko.
So ayun, alam mo na sikreto ko. two timer ako bro. yeah. \m/
Miyerkules, Mayo 2, 2012
Breaking the Habit
Ilang araw na din makalipas mula nang mag quit ako. Madami beses, ninais ko balikan. Pero Pinalakas ko loob ko. Pilit kong tinalikuran ang lason na pilit sinisigaw ang pangalan ko.
Pilit ko sinasabi sa sarili na kaya ko mabuhay na wala yun. Na nakamamatay yun. Hanggang ngayon pilit ko pa rin ito sinasabi sa sarili.
Ilang araw na din ako nakakulong sa kwarto. Nakikinig sa mga awitin na pumupukaw sa aking damdamin. Walang iba magawa kundi magsulat, at paikutin ang bolpen sa aking mga daliri.
Naisip ko, kapag andun lang ako sa kwarto, hindi ako matutukso. Hindi ako mapapalapit, hindi ko maririnig ang tawag. Tingin ko ligtas ako. Na wala mananakit sa akin.
Tama nga ba ako? Hindi ko alam.. Ilang araw pa lang ang nakalipas.... Malayo pa ang lalakbayin ko.
Ayoko ma adik. masama ito. Tingin ko nga nonsense na ang isisnusulat ko. Pero kung si Tado nga nakapag lathala ng kung ano at napublish pa to ng Psicom, ano pa kaya ako, na tulad ni Tado ay tila walang pinupuntahan ang sinusulat.
basta, ayoko ma adik. Tulad sa famous Linkin Park song: Breaking the Habit, Gagawin ko lahat. Just to break the habit that has held me for so long.....
And with that I end my rant. Thank You.
Pilit ko sinasabi sa sarili na kaya ko mabuhay na wala yun. Na nakamamatay yun. Hanggang ngayon pilit ko pa rin ito sinasabi sa sarili.
Ilang araw na din ako nakakulong sa kwarto. Nakikinig sa mga awitin na pumupukaw sa aking damdamin. Walang iba magawa kundi magsulat, at paikutin ang bolpen sa aking mga daliri.
Naisip ko, kapag andun lang ako sa kwarto, hindi ako matutukso. Hindi ako mapapalapit, hindi ko maririnig ang tawag. Tingin ko ligtas ako. Na wala mananakit sa akin.
Tama nga ba ako? Hindi ko alam.. Ilang araw pa lang ang nakalipas.... Malayo pa ang lalakbayin ko.
Ayoko ma adik. masama ito. Tingin ko nga nonsense na ang isisnusulat ko. Pero kung si Tado nga nakapag lathala ng kung ano at napublish pa to ng Psicom, ano pa kaya ako, na tulad ni Tado ay tila walang pinupuntahan ang sinusulat.
basta, ayoko ma adik. Tulad sa famous Linkin Park song: Breaking the Habit, Gagawin ko lahat. Just to break the habit that has held me for so long.....
And with that I end my rant. Thank You.
Martes, Mayo 1, 2012
Fall To Pieces
tamang soundtrip lang sa Youtube. This is one of my favorite Avril Lavigne Songs. Fall to Pieces. I was reading the comments when I came across this:
I completely agree with this stranger. Who are we to judge? let them fall in love with whoever they want. It's not wrong. What's wrong is that we try and get in their way.
I have nothing else to say here. all is said.
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