My Suicide Letter

Well, today is the last day of 2011. A lot of people are planning, and making their New Year Resolutions. resolutions that will last, 2-3 days tops. while everyone is busy,

Well, I'm gonna kill myself this 2011, and be reborn in 2012. a new me. with a new perspective....hopefully.

 these are the things I regret:

I regret falling in love. well, they told me that falling in love was one of the best feelings in the world. I gotta admit they were right about that. But they forgot to mention that, when you do, you get hurt. really bad. It takes a while to get back up, and I think I'm almost there, but still, I regret that I fell in love this year. it was not a good year to look for love. :)

I regret caring too much. you know what they say, "the more you care, the more you have to lose." I have a tendency to be really clingy. trying to change that. but hey, when I'm clingy, that means I really care about you. Its just that, people tend to find that, annoying. Well, I guess I should have seen that coming. I guess, next year, I should care a little less, or at least not be too clingy. Because sometimes, always being there can drive the ones you care about away. or at least, get them pissed at you. lol.

I regret not taking action. If I took action, maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't be spending the holidays so lonely. and maybe I'd be a little happier than I am right now.

and most of all, 

I regret not being happy at times when I should have been. Because thinking back on it now, I must have looked like an ass. being a depressed monkey in a crowd of happy people. Days when I was totally down. damn.....

well, there are two sides to a coin. now that I have the negative gone, this year wasn't all that bad. the following I experienced for the 1st time.

I got drunk. and felt like shit the next morning. not a good way to spend christmas.

I got to interview people. yeah. being a Journalism student has its perks. I found that I like talking to people.

Video Games can save lives. I have a Play Station 2. It saved me from depression this year, and it also makes the best companion. it takes you to a new world, where killing is okay. plus, it won't get mad at you no matter how much you yell at it. :D

Friends will be there. no matter what. tested and proven! they will stay with you. they'll listen. they'll give advice. Lets face it. Life is a shit hole, but when you're with friends, you learn to face all your problems, with well, a semi-smile on your face. :)

I learned a lot more, and I shed more tears than I would care to remember. But one thing is for sure, I am thankful. Thankful because these experiences, will somehow make me feel better, and be more prepared to accept the new year.

and now that I have said everything I wanted to say, I am picking up my gun, loading it with a bullet, and pointing it at my right temple. I'll die... but I'll be born again. no. not as a zombie. But as me. a more awesome me.

to all of you who I met this year, and to those I've known for years, Thank You. To quote a song title, Thanks for the Memories. see you in 2012!

Pulls Trigger. dead.