She is at Peace

She lies lifeless on her bed. An empty bottle of meds by her bed. Her father looks at her daughter, and is stunned into silence. Her mother calls the police, tears running down her face, and is hysterical from the moment she set foot in her daughter's room.

Meanwhile, she is at peace. Peace from the bullying, peace from the stress, and peace from the monsters who have hurt her. She has found peace from all the pain and suffering the world has given her.

Her school was silent upon receiving the word. Her friends bow their heads, and are wishing they did more. Her parents go to her locker, and found a note inside.

They read it together, as husband and wife:

By the time you read this, I am already dead.

I'm sorry for leaving in such a rush. But the pain was too much for me to carry on. 

I try to tell them what they were doing to me, but my cries fell on deaf ears, and they all walked away.

I tried to find a friend, a friend who would care enough to take me from this hell. But all are indifferent. I felt like a kitten lost and abandoned. No one heard my cries. And if they did, they didn't care. 

I'm tired of the pain. I'm tired of the suffering! I cut myself. I cut myself every time they hurt me. The pain from the wounds reminded me that I was alive. 

The drugs are temporary. They wear off and I'm back in hell. I'm alive, but I am dead inside. 

I'm sorry to everyone if I'm so offensive that you had to go pick on me. I'm sorry everyone if I'm never good enough. and I'm sorry I'm so pathetic, that the adults have their way with me. I'm sorry I was even born. I'm sorry that I existed.

Don't worry I'm at a happier place now. There will be no more pain. there will only be Peace.

I'm sorry. Not sorry, 

*********       

Her mother cried when she realized, too late, her daughter was in pain. Her father puts his arm around her, holding back the tears he still refused to shed. 

That day, they lost a daughter. How many more need to die? Your friends won't always speak up. and if they do, make sure you're there to listen. 

Never make anyone feel alone. 

"The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved" -- Mother Teresa 

A Comeback?

I met with fellow bloggers a while back. I discovered that there are more people out there who would choose to make friends with people on the internet than with real people in real life.

Of course, they all have their real friends. They all have their own lives. hell, one of them is even a grade school teacher at 19. 19! and I'm 21 who is still working for a college degree.

So anyway, They all have their respective blogs. that's how we met in the first place; through tumblr.

I actually don't regret meeting up with these people. They are awesome in their own right. And talking with them, their life experiences and their blogging experience made me realize, I lost in touch with my blogger self.

I stopped writing for free when I was getting paid to do it. I stopped sharing insights when the money was better.

For a while, writing, to me, has become all about the money. Something Jesse J said it's not about.

When I met up with these new friends, it was kinda shameful to admit that I was being inactive in updating my blog/s. My tumblr has also been slightly forgotten.

Maybe I will start again. A come back. I don't know how often though. After all, this is my last semester. I'm gonna be really busy.

But I will try my best. For now, this is just a post to update this forgotten blog.

And to the readers (if any) thank you for appreciating this blog.

Senti September

Asan na, asan na,
Saya na minsang nadama?

Sa himpapawid, kasama ng ulap?
o naghihingalo sa lupa?

Asan na, asan na,
Saya na minsang nakasama?

Kaluluwa'y ulila mo,
Hanggang ngayon, naghihintay sa'yo.

Asan na, asan na,
Saya na hindi na makakapiling?

Wala na, wala na,
sawi na, patay na.

Ligaya ko sinta, umakyat na sa mga tala,
Hindi na makakasama, hindi na masisilayan.



(c) JC

The Dragon in the Sky

She watches her reflection on the window. Next station Pureza. She sees the dark outlines of buildings and homes. The Dragon passing them by, not minding their existence. 

Through the light of their windows, she gets a glimpse of their life. With the evening growing old, you see the people in their homes eating their dinner, watching tv, sharing the day's activities, and some have decided to end the day. They sleep, not minding the Dragon flying in the sky above. 

She looks and sees the streetlights sparkle, along with the cars' headlights. all rushing, wanting to go home. In the darkness, she is flying, riding in the belly of the flying Dragon in the sky. From this height, she flies away from her troubles, away from this world, and away from everyone. She almost feels free from the loneliness inside. Thrust into the world of silence and calm. The only comfort are the lights which continue to shine, showing the way, the way back home. 

She gazes once again at the face in the window. She sees a face, haunted by exhaustion under messy black hair. The eyes behind the thick glasses, full of wonder and sadness. A sadness so deep she cannot begin to cope. 

She wonders who she is, how the people there saw her. She looked at herself, and saw a writer. A writer flying in a Dragon through the darkness. Taking her home.

She saw the lights. The lights in the darkness was comfort to her. She saw them as friends who would not leave her. 

The Dragon announces the arrival at Anonas, as it slows to a stop. The writer gets off and watches the Dragon disappear into the night. Not to be seen until the break of light. 

She stayed for a moment before she walked away. And as she walked back to reality, she couldn't wait for the freedom which was, inside the Dragon's belly

(Written September 4, 2013 on a train ride home from Recto)

When to Shut Your Mouth

Communicating. Everyone does it, even animals. We communicate because we believe that no man is an island. A man cannot possibly live a healthy life without talking or communicating with another human being.

We talk about all sorts of things with our fellow humans. We talk about the weather, sports, our spouses, and even serious matters like politics and religions.

Yes. we all talk about these sort of things to our companions. But communicating, like everything else in the world, has its limits.

For instance, we don't talk about taboo subjects like sex in public. it's just not appropriate. And we also have to respect the confidentiality of others when they confide in us.

Let us not breathe a word of what they said to others. it's just not right.

And on the internet, when you know you're right, speak up! defend what's correct. Let them learn. And if you're wrong, or have no idea what the hell is going on, shut up. No one wants to hear your half-ass opinion.

I have to learn to keep my mouth shut too. It's not cool to keep talking after everyone else has stopped listening. You'll look like a big jackass. 

But hey, that's just my opinion.

Back Reading

Habang nag aabang ng ibang gagawin para sa thesis namin, at dahil nakikigamit ako ng wifi ng kaibigan, naisipan ko balikan ang mga sinulat kong artikulo this time last year.

Nakita ko ang blogpost na patungkol sa unang dalawang araw ko sa ikatlong taon ng kolehiyo.

binasa ko ito. Nakita ko na napaka dali ng buhay kolehiyo kung wala ka pa sa huling taon. petiks. Salita yan na di alam ng mga kapwa ko Senior students ng Journalism.

OJT at Thesis sem to. lahat ng tao stressed sa paghahanap ng ojt pati na rin sa pagtapos ng thesis na may scheduled defense sa unang linggo ng Agosto.

Ako? hindi ako naiiba sa mga kaklase ko. nakahanap na ako ng OJT, pati, inaasikaso na din namin ang thesis namin. Konti na lang, matatapos na ito.

Mababasa mo sa iba kong blogpost kung kamusta ako sa OJT ko. masaya naman buhay intern eh. Hindi lang talaga halata.

Saan ba ang punto ko ukol sa post na ito? hindi ko din alam. hanggang dito na muna. medyo pagod ako...

Expectations vs. Reality

We have all experienced this at least once in our lives. And for those of you who are reading the first few lines of this blog post for further understanding of what the title is about, let me enlighten you:

Expectation-Reality is when you crate a picture of an event or of a person in your head before you meet them. Thereby, creating an "expectation" for yourself. Reality, of course, is how the person or event or thing actually appears.

For example. You expect the trip to the dentist will be painless and the dentist is a very nice lady who won't use the scary dental drill. When in reality, the dentist is a heartless creature created by God to torture you and your teeth with the scary dental drill.

Sometimes, expectations and reality can be very far apart. and sometimes, it's just right. In example, you expect that school would be boring. when in reality, it is boring. (I'm not pertaining to a certain professor's class, mind you.) Sometimes, you are just correct in  your expectations.

Now, what is the point of my writing this post about expectations-reality? My point is that, I seem to have encountered it today, on my first day as an intern for a local newspaper called: "The Daily Tribune".

I expected to be busy in the office, finding facts, typing articles for school etc. Instead, I am given a few hours to be very lazy. They are even nice enough to let me use their internet. and for what purpose? Why, personal of course! They let me go online. In fact, I'm writing this post from their computer now.

But they did tell me that I will be sent to events and such to be covered for the paper. I then write news about them. and I have to be really good if I ever want to meet the 20 article quota (which, by the way, is ludicrous according to my supervisor.) But I'm not even thinking of the articles anymore. Just the 200hours I have to finish.

So what is my current expectation? I expect to finish the 200 hours by Mid-September. The Reality is still pending, but I hope it will be fine.

I think I'll log out at 5pm. Go home. Eat my dinner. start on the thesis, and then turn in for the night. But then again, these are all just expectations. The reality? well... I'm just hoping they're going to be the same.

Last two weeks

Three months. That's how long this summer was. Now, I can go on and count how many days it's been. But I'm too lazy.

I could also give you a summary of what I have done with my life in that past three months. After all, it must be interesting because I haven't posted much.

Well, on that note, you are very much mistaken. If I were to make a summary of the past three months, it would probably lead you to unfollow this blog. Because all I did was sleep till 10am, stay up late looking at funny cat pictures online, and occasionally, stay up till 3AM, trying to meet the client's deadline.

Yeah. being a writer is awesome as fuck. But let's not talk about that. let's talk about the remaining two weeks of "freedom".

When I realized I only had two weeks left before going back to University, I kinda felt nervous. the same nervousness I felt on my first day as a High school Senior waaay back in 2009.

How is this any different than my senior year in high school? well, for one, after this year, I'll be diving into the confusing sea which they call "The Real World". It's kinda like a video game, only real. It kinda scares me to be honest.

of course, regarding my last year in college, I have expectations. Here are a few of those expectations:

• Less Sleeping Time. I plan on working double time for the Thesis. No, I'm not the leader, but just because I'm not the leader doesn't mean I should get 10hrs of sleep while he does all the work.
• More Stress. On the Job training. this is what all seniors dread. I'm not an exception. I'll be looking for a company crazy enough to take me. I hope I find one.
• homework. I expect we'll be having more homework this year. *sighs*

I'm not ready for any of this! Two weeks... I have two weeks to be mentally ready for this. i just hope, you know... everything turns out fine and that Senior College will be a good year to remember.

I have a Job

Inspired by the Beatles' song: "Paperback Writer", I went on and started work as a freelancer. I have to say, I've been doing pretty well and with each article I write, I get a little bit of cash in my pocket. 

This is my first time using the internet to gain money by doing something I like, namely writing. 199jobs.com has given me the oppurunity I didn't think was possible to get. 

What is 199jobs you ask? It's this beta site where you can offer your services for the small amount of 199php. You can also put add-ons as options for your buyers for you to earn more than just 199 with each order. 



I've been using it since March, and I have to say, things are run pretty smoothly. The site developer, Mr. Glenn Santos, is very accommodating. He even put up this exclusive seller group in Facebook where he and others can post different job opportunities for sellers like me, he also updates everyone through the group about site changes, meet ups (He arranges meet ups every Monday) and he asks for suggestions from sellers on what we think should be added to the site for us to be able to use it more efficiently. 

And I have to say, the site has seen so much improvement since I started using it last March. I can really see myself using it for a longer period of time. 

But how does the site work? 
You can learn more from reading the site FAQS. 

if you have talent, and are willing to do work from home, I suggest you try this out. Who knows? this could be the ticket you're looking for to get that money you need. 

Japan Suicide Forest

I've been doing a lot of online reading lately. I've read all sorts of things. What would happen is that I would read something from facebook trivia pages like What the F*ck facts and I'll be like: "There is no way that's true." Then I would google it and be proved wrong.

It's already happened more than once. I have turned my online time to reading time. I get all sorts of useless information. but these information can come in handy in conversations or when you're out on a date and you run out of topics. You could be like: "hey, did you hear about that guy who died and was devoured by his pet spiders?" 

Well, your date might be grossed out, but at least you have something to talk about. Anyway, I wanted to share something I found strange yet fascinating online. I read somewhere that there was this forest in the foot of Mt. Fuji in Japan where people go to take their lives. 

Naturally, I was skeptical so I googled it. I found that it was called Aokigahara Forest. A very popular place for people to come and take their lives. According to the internet, it was the second most popular place to commit suicide, right after the San Franciso Golden Gate Bridge. 

A noose used for suicide found inside Aokigahara Forest

Regular searches are conducted by the Japanese government to look for suicide victims in the forest. They even went on and posted signs on the entrance telling these people to get help and to think about what they are doing. 

A sign urging suicidal vistors to seek help.

As many as 100 people take their lives in this forest every year. Some bodies don't get discovered until they are nothing more than skeletal remains. Traces of people in the forest can be seen on the forest floor.
 as seen in these pictures taken by search parties, volunteers and journalists. 

I found the items to be depressing, but not as depressing as seeing the bodies. 








While I was looking at these pictures, I couldn't help but feel sad. Sad for these people who were feeling so down that they believed that death was the only exit. I read somewhere that when you commit suicide, you are not eliminating the pain, rather you are eliminating chances of getting better. 

What kind of lesson did I get by reading all about Aokigahara Forest? I learned that you should never let someone go through the darkness alone. And that you should be the friend who holds the light for them. Because in the darkness, they believe they are alone. Show them that they are not. Show them that someone cares. 

You could save a life just by listening. Just by being there. Be aware of your friend or family member's actions. Make sure that whatever hardships they go through, they don't have to go through it alone.




(Images from: Google)

Ang Kasalukuyang Mundo Ayon kay JC

Dahil sa teknolohiya ngayon, ang mga writer ay hindi na sanay gumamit ng papel at bolpen sa pagsulat ng kanilang mga saloobin o kaya naman ay mga balita na nais nila iparating sa masa.

Ito ay aking napagtanto, nang minsan kami pasulatin ng balita sa klase. Dahil walang computers, o laptops o internet ang karamihan, gamit ang tradisyunal na bolpen at papel, isinulat namin ang balita. sa aking paligid, andami ko naririnig. Mga kaklase ko na panay sabi ng "Hindi ak sanay ng hindi tinatype!"

Napaisip ako nun, unti unti na natin nakakalimutan ang mga gawi na tradisyunal. Baka dumating tayo sa panahon na Hindi na ito ituro ng mga guro, sa halip ay diretso na sa kompyuter. Wag naman sana.

Mga bata ngayon? Ganon pa din. Hindi man natin aminin, pero sadyang malandi na sila noon pa man. mas lumandi nga lang ngayon...

pero pagdating sa laro, mas pinipili na ngayon ng mga bata ang video games kesa maki halubilo sa iba. Sa opinyon ng manunulat na ito, hindi dapat. matatwag niyo kong ipokrito, pero hayaan niyo ako mag explain.


Sa kasalukuyan, ako ay isang tao na mas pinipili magkulong sa loob ng kanyang silid at maghapon mag internet. Pero may panahon na mas ginusto ko maglaro sa labas ng bahay kasama ang mga madudungis kong kalaro.

Sa palagay ko, importante na makihalubilo ang mga bata sa kapwa nila bata para sila ay matuto ng mga life skills tulad ng pagkakaibigan at pakikisama.Pag lumaki kasi sila na lagi asa bahay at walang ibang nakikitang muka maliban sa kanilang pamilya, ay lalaki silang mahiyain at mahihirapan sila makisama sa lipunan. Nanaisin niyo ba makita ang anak niyo na nahihirapan sa pakikipagkaibigan? Hindi. Kaya pilitin niyo sila lumabas at bawasan ang video games.

Enganyuhin siya magbasa ng libro at sumulat sa papel. Ituro mo sakanila ang mga maliliit na bagay na nagbibigay liwanag sa kanilang buhay. Liwanag na magtatagal, hindi tulad ng sa cellphone na pagkatapos ng ilang sandali ay mawawala.

Ipakita mo sakanya ang mundo. Patingalain mo siya mula sa kanyang kinakalikot na gadyet. Wag mo siyang pabayaan makonsumo ng teknolohiya. Maganda ang mundo. kailangan mo lang tignan.

Ako? Naranasan ko na makihalubilo sa mga tao. Naranasan ko na madapa sa kalsada at umiyak pauwi. At sa pakikipagsapalaran ko sa mundo ng mga tao, napagtanto ko na Ayoko sakanila at mas nais kong mapagisa.

Hayaan mo madiskubre yan ng anak mo. Hayaan mo siya mabuhay. Wag mo siya ikulong sa teknolohiya

Kwento ng Isang Nilalang

May mga tao na swerte sa buhay... swerte sa career, swerte sa pamilya, at swerte sa buhay pag ibig.

Kadalasan na makikita mo, ay isang tao na swerte sa career, pero buhay pamilya niya ay isang napakalungkot na kwento.

Meron din naman, mga swerte sa pag ibig, ngunit hindi naman makapag trabaho ng ayos.. at syempre, meron din tao na swerte sa pamilya, pero pagdating sa pag ibig, ay olats.

May kwento ako tungkol sa isang nilalang...

Isang nilalang na minsa'y nangarap. Nangarap lang na minsan, sa buhay niya, may magmahal naman sakanya. Yung matatakot mawala siya, yung yayakapin siya kapag handa na siyang sumuko at puntahan ang punong may kapal. Yung magmamakaawang wag siyang lumisan... gusto niya ng tao na magmamahal sakanya na parang kung paano siya mag mahal...

Ngunit tila ito ay isang panaginip na kailan ma'y hindi masasagot. ni hindi mabibigyan katuparan. Hindi niya ito pinansin. Sumulat na lang siya. dinaan sa trabaho ang kalungkutan na kanyang tinatamasa.

"Hindi yun importante." paulit ulit niyang sinasabi sa sarili. Tuloy sa pagsulat, tuloy sa pagbuhay....

Minsan, siya ay umibig. minsa'y sumaya sa piling ng isa... Ngunit tila parang bula, ang pag ibig nito'y biglang naglaho...

Ang kawawang nilalang ay naglugmok... Naglaslas... ginusto magpakamatay... Hindi niya kinaya ang sakit sa kanyang puso. Masyadong mabigat... masyadong masakit...

Ngunit sa tulong ng pamilya, ay bumalik ang dating sigla...

Ngayo'y siya ay nakahanap ng bago. "ito na kaya?" tanong sa sarili. Dala ng trauma mula sa nakaraang relasyon, dinahan dahan niya ang pag tapak dito.

ngunit bago pa man umusbong ang pag ibig, ito'y inapakan, sinunog at pinatay. Ang pag ibig na inaasahan, ay pawang kasinungalingan.

Nagpapasalamat siya at hindi naulit ang nakaraan... ngunit sa kabila ng lahat ng magandang nangyari, Hindi niya mapigilan ang sarili sa pag isip.... "Hindi na ba ako nakatakdang lumigaya?" "habang buhay ba ganito ako? habang buhay na mag isa...."

"Siguro nga.." napagtanto nito. May mga tao siguro na nakatakdang mabuhay mag isa. walang masama dito, ngunit masaya sana isipin na sa pag dating ng araw ng iyong pagtanda, ay may aakay sa iyong paglakad kapag ang tuhod mo'y nilamon na ng rayuma. Na may magsasabi sayo na mahal ka niya kahit na ano ang mangyari...

Ngunit sa kasamaang palad, ang buhay na ninanais ng nilalang na ito, ay hindi para sakanya...  Tuloy ang buhay. nagsusulat pa din siya... Hinayaan ang nararamdaman at nilunod muli sa trabaho ang lahat....

Hey Mister! Give me a job!

"hey Mister! Give me a job!"

This was yelled out by a young man on the fence of a  NASCAR race way back in the 60's. A famous race car driver, whose name escapes me, hears the young man and decided to give him a job. That young man, again, whose name escapes me, is now famous in NASCAR.

I saw this on an episode of "The Pickers" on the history channel. It might have been pure luck that got him to where he is, but still, how he got started in NASCAR is pretty cool.

I wish it were this easy to get a job in writing. But no. if you do manage to hook a writing job, here are some things I learned while working as a freelance writer:

Write intelligently. you were hired to write? Show them what they are paying for. When writing the article, show the buyer how smart you are and that their decision to buy your services was a good one.

Edit your work. you can write fast, but is it any good? remember, re-checking your work isn't bad. in fact, it will help you find typos and other things that need to be omitted or improved. Your buyer will certainly approve of this.

Be Professional. The buyer will typically give you instructions. When something is unclear to you, don't hesitate to ask. It will save you time in case you mess up. and if they decide to get another writer, show that it's their lost, not yours.

Be Reasonable. Site owners typically get freelance writers because they charge less than professionals. Be reasonable with your prices. I charge 200 per article. But this is because I'm only starting out. Some charge up to 300. But they are really efficient. and finally;

Finish on Time. Buyers love it when you finish the work on or before the deadline.

If you decide to venture into the world of Freelance writing, heed my words. They can help you.

And while I'm waiting for a new writing job, I think I'll go hang out by a fence. maybe someone will respond to my yells of "Mister! give me a job!"

(image from Google)

Chloie keeps popping into my blog for no apparent reason. I keep deleting it.

It's like she's trying to invade my world of words here!

No, it won't be acceptable!

Silence

I haven't been able to write for a while because I just don't seem to know what to write about. Back then, I can write several posts in one day, now, I'm lucky if I can squeeze out just one. 

What's happened? Has my mind been drained of all creativity? I can write. I can write well. I just don't know what to write about. I guess this is what they call "writer's block".

This sucks. I'm bored and there's no cable. I guess I'll just sleep. 

Goodnight

Barky: More Than A Dog

For a short period of time, I was a volunteer for the Philippine Animal Welfare Society (PAWS). Here, I learned a lot. I learned that it's not enough to love your pet. But also, you have to treat them with respect. The same kind of respect you expect to get.

Actually, even before I was a volunteer at PAWS, this is already taught to us by our parents. I remember, as  a child, my older sister brought home a dog and named him Barky. He was a member of the family. He was my friend. I loved Barky.

As a child, I didn't have many friends. And so Barky was my companion. I would always play with him. And he didn't mind very much even as I was putting my toys all over him. He was very patient with me.

Years passed. As I grew older, he did as well. No longer was he the super active puppy my sister took home. He was now an old dog who enjoyed the peace and quiet. Little did i know that his time with me was almost up...

On the day he died, I remember he was walking around the house looking for a place to rest. he really looked tired. I went over to him and petted him. He lifted his doggy head and licked my hand. He knew he was loved. I stayed with him for a long while. He slowly wagged his tail as if saying: Thanks.

That night, my parents came over and petted Barky as well. sort of like, a goodbye. We all knew he was about to go over the rainbow bridge. But something seemed to be holding him back.

That was around the time my sister came home. She only just learned about Barky's fate. She quickly rushed to the Garage where Barky was slowly taking his last breaths. My sister kneeled beside Barky, teary eyed. She said a quick goodbye to the dying dog. And in response, Barky licked my sister's hand, as if to say his last goodbye as well. Soon after that, he lay down on the floor, motionless.

A moment of silence was given to the departed family member. My dad took out a candle and lit it beside the dead dog. I knew he was trying to hide it, but I swear, I saw tears silently flowing down his face.    

A gloomy atmosphere spread through our home which affected everyone, especially my sister. She was the one who took good care of Barky. She practically raised him. I was sad because I lost a friend. No longer will he keep me company at night. No longer will he be under the table, eager to be fed scraps, and no longer will I see him, tail wagging with enthusiasm as I step inside the house after a long day at school.

I miss Barky. He was a good dog. He lived to be fourteen years old. I was about sixteen when he died.

I wish I could show you a picture of my friend. But sadly, I don't have one. Wherever he is now, I know he is not in pain. he is in rainbow bridge. Along with our other departed pets. Someday Barky, we will meet again. And we can play together again. But until then, take care of lolo and lola for me.

You were a good dog. in life and in death...

Love for the Loveless

One of the few things I hate talking about is my life and my problems. I don’t like to ask people about theirs mainly because I believe it to be their own business.

I don’t mind it when you open up about yours to me. I just try to be the good friend and listen. Me? I don’t like to bother people with my rants and fears and doubts. I always just say to myself, why would they care? it’s not their problem. I’ll just be bothering them. I had to learn this the hard way.

Not too long ago, I suffered a deep depression. Days would pass and I wouldn’t eat. I would just stay in my room and cry. The depression immobilized me. I deactivated my fb account, ignored my cellphone and just stayed at home for a week. wallowing in self pity, and playing video games for 14 hours straight. Those days were dark. everyday, my heart felt like it was breaking in a million tiny pieces, and more than once, I thought about ending my life.

Of course, I knew what i had to do. i needed to talk to someone. But then, when I did, The person didn’t even seem to care. Didn’t even bother to ask how I was the next few days. The burden I felt in my heart grew even more. I felt terrible. Right then and there, I swore that if a friend needed me, I would always do my best to not only listen, but to give advice and words of comfort. For I know how it feels to be let down by the people you care about the most.

Give love to the loveless. Most of the time, they hide behind their smiles to prevent the world from noticing the pain and suffering just beneath the surface. The truth is, people are being eaten alive by the monsters residing within them. These monsters may not have physical forms, but their forms in our heads will eventually lead us to our deaths. This is the cause for most suicides.

That is why, I am urging everyone to pay attention to your friends and family. Be aware of their behavior. Let’s try to save them from the darkness that is their soul. Don’t let another person lose hope in humanity. let them love. It’s the light that can fend off the darkness.

A Project

Since none of my friends care about this problem of mine, I shall share it with the faceless followers of my blogs. None of you might care, and will probably scroll past this post. do as you please. I don't care.

If you know me, then you know that I love animals. I have grown up to the sounds of meows and barks. But lately, I have been having issues. Pet issues. I can't sleep at night because I worry a lot about my pets especially how they multiply.

I took a job. I've been working for a month now. I don't make too much money, but I'm perfectly happy with it. Anyway, I told my mom that I took the job to support myself with school projects, which is half true. But the real reason is that I wanted to earn enough money to get my cats fixed. That's right, no more kittens for this cat lover!

Well, I do love kittens. But I can't seem to bear to see kittens suffering. I don't care how much it's going to cost. I'm going to sponsor a cat, and mom is going to sponsor another cat until all four are fixed.

I hope that I accomplish this project within the year. I really can't handle more cats, and I don't know what I would do if I were to get more kittens! I think... I think I just might become the crazy cat person.

I pray for the Lord's guidance on this one.

Paano sumulat ng kwento ng Pag Ibig?

"sumulat ka ng love story. yung nakakakilig." 

utos sakin ng  isa kong kaibigan. Una ko naisip pagkasabi niya nito ay: "Paano?"

Paano mo nga ba sisimulan ang isang kwento ng pag ibig? Kung ang kwento ng sarili mong pag ibig ay hindi mo mabigyan ng umpisa?

pag na in love ka, parang pinaubaya na ng katawan mo sa puso mo ang decision making. Initsupwera na nito ang utak mo. Puro puso. kesa na pagisipan mo, eh "instinct" mo na lang pinapakingan mo, kawawa naman yung maliit na boses sa ulo mo na sinasabi sayong: "tama na. nasasaktan ka na."

Ako? nabiktima na ako ng pag ibig. Ilang gabi na ang ipinagkait ko sa tulog, ilang galon na din ng luha ang idinilig ko sa lupa. At para saan? para sa isang taong wala naman paki kung ano ang nararamdaman mo. Para sa isang tao na pinasaya ka, na akala mo pinasasaya mo rin siya. Yun pala, hindi.

So uulitin ko, paano ako susulat ng kwento ng pag ibig, kung ang definition ko ng pag ibig ay "saya na kasing tagal lang ng umiihip na hangin"?

The Procrastinator

I should study for the test.

*plays video games
*watches cartoons
*takes nap

Yeah. I'll definitely be successful one day. I am the procrastinator. A being with the knowledge of upcoming important events, and yet sits and does random crap. For instance, instead of going through my notes, I am making this blogpost. Is it relevant and can help me pass the exam? perhaps. perhaps not.

I just finished typing a business article we will be turning in  in about 2 maybe 3 weeks from now? I am strange that way. I know that there is something important for tomorrow, and yet I chose to do the homework meant for the far future.

I think I'll even do those homework blogposts. Anything to just not sleep. This post....... is it even relevant? I feel like I haven't done anything great. Blogwise.

Whatever.