Chloie keeps popping into my blog for no apparent reason. I keep deleting it.

It's like she's trying to invade my world of words here!

No, it won't be acceptable!

Silence

I haven't been able to write for a while because I just don't seem to know what to write about. Back then, I can write several posts in one day, now, I'm lucky if I can squeeze out just one. 

What's happened? Has my mind been drained of all creativity? I can write. I can write well. I just don't know what to write about. I guess this is what they call "writer's block".

This sucks. I'm bored and there's no cable. I guess I'll just sleep. 

Goodnight

Barky: More Than A Dog

For a short period of time, I was a volunteer for the Philippine Animal Welfare Society (PAWS). Here, I learned a lot. I learned that it's not enough to love your pet. But also, you have to treat them with respect. The same kind of respect you expect to get.

Actually, even before I was a volunteer at PAWS, this is already taught to us by our parents. I remember, as  a child, my older sister brought home a dog and named him Barky. He was a member of the family. He was my friend. I loved Barky.

As a child, I didn't have many friends. And so Barky was my companion. I would always play with him. And he didn't mind very much even as I was putting my toys all over him. He was very patient with me.

Years passed. As I grew older, he did as well. No longer was he the super active puppy my sister took home. He was now an old dog who enjoyed the peace and quiet. Little did i know that his time with me was almost up...

On the day he died, I remember he was walking around the house looking for a place to rest. he really looked tired. I went over to him and petted him. He lifted his doggy head and licked my hand. He knew he was loved. I stayed with him for a long while. He slowly wagged his tail as if saying: Thanks.

That night, my parents came over and petted Barky as well. sort of like, a goodbye. We all knew he was about to go over the rainbow bridge. But something seemed to be holding him back.

That was around the time my sister came home. She only just learned about Barky's fate. She quickly rushed to the Garage where Barky was slowly taking his last breaths. My sister kneeled beside Barky, teary eyed. She said a quick goodbye to the dying dog. And in response, Barky licked my sister's hand, as if to say his last goodbye as well. Soon after that, he lay down on the floor, motionless.

A moment of silence was given to the departed family member. My dad took out a candle and lit it beside the dead dog. I knew he was trying to hide it, but I swear, I saw tears silently flowing down his face.    

A gloomy atmosphere spread through our home which affected everyone, especially my sister. She was the one who took good care of Barky. She practically raised him. I was sad because I lost a friend. No longer will he keep me company at night. No longer will he be under the table, eager to be fed scraps, and no longer will I see him, tail wagging with enthusiasm as I step inside the house after a long day at school.

I miss Barky. He was a good dog. He lived to be fourteen years old. I was about sixteen when he died.

I wish I could show you a picture of my friend. But sadly, I don't have one. Wherever he is now, I know he is not in pain. he is in rainbow bridge. Along with our other departed pets. Someday Barky, we will meet again. And we can play together again. But until then, take care of lolo and lola for me.

You were a good dog. in life and in death...

Love for the Loveless

One of the few things I hate talking about is my life and my problems. I don’t like to ask people about theirs mainly because I believe it to be their own business.

I don’t mind it when you open up about yours to me. I just try to be the good friend and listen. Me? I don’t like to bother people with my rants and fears and doubts. I always just say to myself, why would they care? it’s not their problem. I’ll just be bothering them. I had to learn this the hard way.

Not too long ago, I suffered a deep depression. Days would pass and I wouldn’t eat. I would just stay in my room and cry. The depression immobilized me. I deactivated my fb account, ignored my cellphone and just stayed at home for a week. wallowing in self pity, and playing video games for 14 hours straight. Those days were dark. everyday, my heart felt like it was breaking in a million tiny pieces, and more than once, I thought about ending my life.

Of course, I knew what i had to do. i needed to talk to someone. But then, when I did, The person didn’t even seem to care. Didn’t even bother to ask how I was the next few days. The burden I felt in my heart grew even more. I felt terrible. Right then and there, I swore that if a friend needed me, I would always do my best to not only listen, but to give advice and words of comfort. For I know how it feels to be let down by the people you care about the most.

Give love to the loveless. Most of the time, they hide behind their smiles to prevent the world from noticing the pain and suffering just beneath the surface. The truth is, people are being eaten alive by the monsters residing within them. These monsters may not have physical forms, but their forms in our heads will eventually lead us to our deaths. This is the cause for most suicides.

That is why, I am urging everyone to pay attention to your friends and family. Be aware of their behavior. Let’s try to save them from the darkness that is their soul. Don’t let another person lose hope in humanity. let them love. It’s the light that can fend off the darkness.